The 'dak nam '

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In Bengali tradition, the 'dak nam' is not an uncommon phenomenon. People have two names: dak nam vs bhalo nam. Dak nam can be anything and everything like- Puchko, Buro, Buria, Roltu, Goltu, Chuti, Bubai, Tubai, Tompa, Titli, Tisha, many more, whatever one feels.  These are  basically the embarrassing ones which is popular among the closed family members and few childhood friends. This name may be conferred immediately at the child's birth or may be later after few days when calling 'baby' again and again  might juxtapose with someone elses's baby. 
The 'bhalo nam' on the other hand, is conveyed to the society in a very hubbub ceremony, 'Namkaran', of laughters and pride, where everyone suggests a name and finally after performing some rituals, an appropriate, meaningful name is given to the child. This name is the identity of the child in the society as well as when he would present himself officially later in his life. The 'dak nam' corresponds to the nickname but the difference is only that in Bengali tradition, it is completely meaningless and awkward. 

I am a child of non-Bengali parents and was the youngest among the three siblings. My 'Namkaran' ceremony was faboulously done with the 'bhalo nam'  which on the other hand, is a very common nickname in our society and does not bear any meaning. I still overthink my mother's serious lack of interest in seaching a consequential name for me which would be later the identity of my life. And the embarrasment for me does not stop here. It goes to the extent that my nickname was conferred as 'Chotu'. The awkwardness is more as I belong to the gender female and now, is slowly nearing my 40s. So, it is a close and strict direction given by me to all my family members to not to bellow me 'Chotu'  at any public place or among my friends. Infact, many of my friends does not even know, this name exists. The strictness extends to my dear husband too, who is never supposed to call me with my nickname but rather by anything he would prefer. The shamefulness doesnot pause now as my little 6 year old son teases me 'Chotu' with laughters. When I go back to the origin of it, I was concluded that, this nickname was thrown upon me by some random people staying at our rented apartments as they thought I was the youngest among three. Whereas my elder sisters have names which are so popular that even they pridely talk about the existence of Bollywood movies with those names. My closest school friend had the nickname 'Beauty' which she could say without a blink and I told her my nickname closely near her ears so that the other classmates can't get the smallest hint of it, avoiding the later drama of emabarassments.

After regretting most of my life of not having a purposeful 'bhalo nam' or a good 'dak nam',  and subsequent of getting married to a Bengali person, I have realised, own the names, whatever it is. 

Afterall: 
       “What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” 
                                                                                                                       William Shakespeare

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